Note: This blog may not be suitable for all persons. If you are offended easily, too fucking bad. I fight for freedom of speech, and I'm here to speak it.
Seattle is known as a city with great treasures and locales that provide the most avid shopper with a sense of "I might actually never need to shop anywhere else, ever." The fact is, anything you need, or want, to buy in the world you can find a store for in Seattle. There are multiple downtown malls, and neighborhood galleries of stores, and street vendors at neighborhood farmer's markets. Every neighborhood in Seattle has a farmer's market with a plethora of goods; everything from bread, to soap, to clothing. Each neighborhood holds their farmer's market on a different day, providing citizens with a farmer's market everyday of the week; and providing the vendors at said markets a full time job. Along with these farmer's markets are the random shops that can be found on any given street or alley. Most of these are small businesses that have their own style and pizzazz. Yes, pizzazz. A number of these stores cater to a small percentage of the populous, as they cost an arm and a leg for every single pot, rug, pair of gloves, or incense holder. Only the top of the scale of citizens can shop here, as most people living within the city live off $10 an hour. On the other hand there are many very affordable shops that cater mostly to females (personal observation). Of course that being said, Seattle, second only to San Fran has a large population of homosexuals. My point being a lot of the males of Seattle, specifically Capital Hill, have no issues shopping at said shops.
On that point, I can move right into the Three-story GAP. Downtown Seattle has multiple malls, and multiple, multi-level department stores; Old Navy, Nordstrom Rack, and the infamous Three-story GAP. Yes I will keep calling it the Three-story GAP. This GAP is a great store. The street level is that of women's fashion, and perfumes, and under garments. There has not been one-time of entering that store in which I have not seen a beautiful woman cruising that section. The lower level is for that of babies. Yes, babies have an entire level to themselves at this GAP. This is because Seattleites are known so well for procreation right? Uhhhh, no. Anyways, if you take the stairs up from the main level you enter the male domain, the male penthouse, the…..men's section of the GAP. This is where my story of the Three-story GAP takes place.
I believe it was October. I entered the GAP this day to buy a new winter coat. In fact, more like a winter coat, as I didn't really own one before this point. I was greeted by an overly flamboyant, loud, man-like person. Note I tell this story in the positive, politically correct manner possible. I instantly stated what I was looking for, but that I don't need any help at this time, as I am just looking. I am willing to receive opinions on if clothing looks good, but when actually looking for a specific item, I like to look. I found a jacket that suited me, and that I could afford. Again I was on a budget; I had alcohol to buy that night with my good friend Brit. I can't waste good money on something like a good, warm winter coat, when I could buy more shots of Jameson. That would just be illogical. So now I just needed to pick the right size of the coat to make me look even more sexy with my emo scarf and black billed beanie. Yes, I know my style kicked ass back in the day. So I started trying on the coats in the mirror. The same salesman, Jared, decided he would be my mirror. No literally he walked over and said "I'll be your mirror", with a heavy lisp nonetheless. I was polite and decided he might be able to help me, just to make sure the jacket looked good. Then I was sexually-assaulted.
He touched me in multiple ways that made me uncomfortable and really didn't necessarily help with the sizing of a jacket. I am not a homophobe, but I am also not homosexual. It was not welcoming. I just wanted to buy a fucking winter coat. It wasn't like he cupped my privates, but all that was needed for the coat with a little shoulder tug or sleeve measurement. When all was said and done, I was disgusted with this Jared. He was what I call a fag. Too flamboyant for his own good, and decides that every male in Seattle is gay and will like him assaulting them. I mean what is the deal with that? I have plenty of homosexual friends, who are great, nice people, who know limits and don't ever over do it. They are males; they act like males. It just so happens they are gay. I have no issue with them; same for any of the lesbians that I have known personally. There would never be a time that any issue would come up. So to restate, this fag Jared, acted like what some call a fairy, and not only annoyed the shit out of me, but was completely unprofessional trying to hit on me. Unfortunately, after years of living on Capital Hill Seattle, I still cannot deal with this level of homosexuality. If I ever move back to Seattle, I think I might need to wear a wedding ring to save any future occurrences of this behavior.
That being said, I never had more than a completely harmless one-liner here and there when out at bars. Those one-liners are in a twisted way flattering. That means that a gay male in a city full of gay males, likes what he sees. Now if I could only harness all that positive energy and get women to do the same.
By the way, I know I'm not gay. I don't need to be gay; Jared has enough gayness for 6 billion people on earth. Jared knows he's gay and decided he would share is level of gayness with everyone else, including random customers. How comfortable would you be in this situation?
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